Deep Captivity

I am surrounded...
To my left and my right I am encompassed by indescribable darkness
Flooded in this brown abyss
Drowning in the depth of what won't let me go
Held by the knowledge of your hearts desire
I WANT OUT
Somehow I keep allowing you to make that choice for me.
The only reflection of light I see is the reflection of who I used to be
She's the girl with the light of Christ holding her arms wide open telling me to come back
But this darkness needs me.
This brown abyss I've fallen in left me on a whirl-wind odyssey
I've gained knowledge but apparently I still don't understand
That nothing I can give you, will help you
Staying won't strengthen me, but deplete me.
I've got to climb my way out but your heart beat continuously stops me.
Because I know when they look in your eyes they see Peach.
You breathe me; Instead of Him. I've been defeated once again.
Moving on is what's best for me but somehow I'm left feeling like I made that decision selfishly.
This abyss is haunting.
When I move, it calls me.
As I grow, it becomes suffocating because there's no room here for me.
I need to grow.
I need to go.
Regurgitating on recycled lies and hemorrhaging whenever the truth flies.
Unchain me!
Realize I don't belong to you and the girl that you love is only someone you once knew...
A figment of your imagination and just a mirage to your reality...
I'm no longer engulfed by your captivity
I've decided today to break free from your custody. I finally heard The Voice of the The One who's been waiting for me. He loves me carefully. Jealously. Unapologetically. Receives me blissfully. This---this is where I need to be. In His captivity.